Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
