Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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