and you said cock pushups were impossible
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
