We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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