Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
