We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
