i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
