just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
