Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
