god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
