If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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