When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
