I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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