haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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