but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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