I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize