What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
