That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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