We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
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