My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
