she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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