please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize