just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize