im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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