do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
