we're blogging at a bar
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
