You smell like stripper and shame
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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