Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
