He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We left the knife in your bed.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
