I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Alive.
So much puke
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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