Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
