Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize