I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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