i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
