Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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