Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
