So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
