Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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