Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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