Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
