Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
As shirtless as possible
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
