so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
