do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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