Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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