Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize