went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize