She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
