he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My vagina is officially offended.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
