What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize