my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
