Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
