Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
