What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
