So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
