Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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