she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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