You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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